A Confusing Recovery
by Miss Mary Sue
Summary: Common shoujo cliche: a character gets amnesia and loses all memories of their love interest. Then again, Ouran always does manage to turn cliches into crack... Oneshot, crackfic!


_Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club._

**A CONFUSING RECOVERY**

She woke up to the sound of beeping from the machine next to her. Her head hurt, but she wasn't sure whether it was because she had hit her head on something or because of the tightly wrapped bandages around her skull. Tufts of short brown hair still popped out from the bandages, enough for them to slightly cover her eyes.

When her vision cleared, she realized she was lying in the bed of a hospital room. The blurry shades of red in the corner turned out to be a vase of roses. Several balloons and wrapped boxes lined up on that counter. She strained her brown eyes to read the writings of the tags sticking out of the presents; they all said one name. _Ha… ru… hi…_

The beeping noise continued, the squiggly green lines jumping up and down on the monitor. But the machine wasn't the only thing sitting beside her. A head full of blonde hair rested on the blankets, the strange man's body fully leaned over the side of her bed with his arms folded like a pillow for his face. How long had he been sleeping here? The girl's low mumbles of confusion stirred him from his slumber.

Once he opened his eyes, the muscles around his mouth instantly drew the corners of his lips up. His blue eyes widened at the sight of her. "Haruhi! You're awake!" he exclaimed happily, although it sounded more relieved than excited.

Haruhi… that was her name. She wrinkled her forehead at the odd boy.

"Who… are you?" she asked slowly, testing her voice. It was low and croaky from her sleep. How long had _she _been sleeping here?

For a moment Haruhi thought his smile had faded for just a split second, but it returned again. He gazed at her with somber eyes this time, and placed a hand over hers.

"My name is Tamaki…" His voice quavered a little as he spoke the first half of his sentence, but with a gentle squeeze from his hand, Tamaki snapped his head up and pressed on. "And you're going to be okay. I promise I'll never let you get hurt again…"

Haruhi blinked confusedly at the boy, who had spoken the last sentence with such heartache and sadness. Even though he smiled at her, there was something empty in his expression. She noticed bags forming under his eyes from sleepless nights. Before the girl could open her mouth, a pair of redheaded twins entered the room.

"Hey, Boss, when are you gonna go back to schoo—"They both stopped once their goldenrod eyes landed on her. Their expressions quickly switched over to a similar one Tamaki had before she asked him who he was. The two ran over to her bed, shouting, "Haruhi woke up! She finally woke up!"

"Yes, but I'm afraid," the other teenager's back stiffened as he finished quietly, "she has amnesia."

A deafening silence fell upon the small white room. Only the beeping from the machine nearby her continued. Why was everyone staring at her with such shock now?

"I see," the twin on the right spoke softly, and kneeled next to the bed. "Hey Haruhi. I'm Hikaru. This is Kaoru. You might not believe me, but…"

He turned his head to Tamaki. The blonde gave a solemn nod. He looked back at Haruhi.

"… You're actually dating Hikaru and me."

"What?!" Tamaki shouted.

"I am?" Haruhi raised an eyebrow.

Kaoru sighed. "Yes. You couldn't choose because you loved the both of us. We were all so happy together before…" He held his breath for a dramatic pause, "… the accident."

"WHAT?!"

"I find that hard to believe," the brunette mumbled. She gazed at the two closely and put a finger to her chin. "But you two do look familiar…"

"Haruhi! They're LYING!" Tamaki jumped out of his chair and pointed a finger wildly at the two. "Those doppelgangers are taking advantage of your memory loss and stealing you away from ME!"

"No! That man over there is the one who's lying!" Kaoru cried. "Don't you remember all those times you've reported him for sexual assault?!"

"He's a lowlife pervert! A stalker!" Hikaru shouted, hugging the brunette close against his chest for safety.

Haruhi had no idea what was going on other than the yells escalating and the three men shoving each other. The headache returned, and she was this close to calling security, if she only knew where the button was. The girl didn't, and she felt more confused and helpless in the midst of the endless squabble.

As if things couldn't turn even more chaotic, another man waltzed in the room. This time, he was dressed in ladies' clothes.

"Oh, Haruhiiiii!" he sung in a falsetto voice. "I was supposed to go to work today, but I just had to visit you in the hospital again! And when I heard your voice, why, my heart instantly sped up like a rocket!"

Haruhi's nose twitched at the whiff of strong perfume and fresh make-up from the man in the dress. It was that moment she finally felt at home again.

"Dad!" she exclaimed, burying her face into his fake boobs when he embraced her after Hikaru scooted over. She sought the comfort of familiarity, the ease of finally being able to recognize someone and not feeling like a stranger to the world.

After their touching father-daughter moment finished, with the three other visitors wiping their tears, Tamaki stepped next to the tranny with a confident smile. "Ranka-san! Surely if Haruhi remembers you, she'll remember me as well." He gestured over to the hospital patient. "You can assure her that I am her father too!"

Ranka gaped at the boy for a long, long time, before slowly turning his head to Haruhi.

"I have no idea who this stranger is."

"WHAT?!"

"Someone! Get this perv out of here!" cried the twins.

"Wait! No!" Tamaki protested, as the nurses came in and proceeded to drag him by the arms. He was escorted out of the building, but his desperate pleas echoed across the hallways.

"Please believe me, Haruhi! YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE MEEEEEE!!!"

And after weeks of nose-pressing against windows, hiding behind bushes, and spouting out longwinded speeches of "all the moments they shared together" outside balconies, Tamaki finally received a restraining order.

(Truthfully though, the host club agreed Haruhi would have done this eventually, memory loss or not.)

**End.**

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**Author's Note: **I actually wrote this piece a long time ago and intended it to be in a chaptered fic called "10 Shoujo Cliches That Are Not In Ouran High School Host Club", but I'm pretty sure that won't be finished, so I'm uploading this one as a single oneshot, haha. The cliche is "No one gets amnesia and loses all memories of their love interest." It's a good thing nobody does, but if it's Ouran they gotta parodize that somehow. :P Ahh, the twins.

To anyone who's a reader of my other fanfic, _Ouran High School Musical!_, I'm really sorry for not updating! I've been working on nanowrimo during the summer (writing 50,000 words in one month). I finally hit 50k two days ago, but my story isn't finished yet, so I have to keep on going... The reason why I'm updating with this fic is because I got sick of my original story and wanted to get back in the writing groove. I WILL finish OHSM though! ... Just gimme some time!

-hides-


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